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Subject: Fwd: Genial!
Date: Thu, 01 Mar 2001 16:50:55 -0000
Subject: Genial!
Date: Thu, 01 Mar 2001 15:05:23 -0000
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of Europe, rather than
German, which was the other possibilty.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish":
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and
keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced with " f ". This will make words like "fotograf" 20%
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,
which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is
disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with"z" and "w" with "y".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leteres.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
be no more trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer.
(Und zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!!!)